Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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