he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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