This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
