so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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