so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
