So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
