At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
