Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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