Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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