so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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