she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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