if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Damn victory sex feels great
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
