the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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