i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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