Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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