Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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