Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
