your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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