..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
