its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
