i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
