I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
