I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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