O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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