im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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