OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize