In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
