3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
