just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
