I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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