yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
