hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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