I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
i've created a new STD.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I supernannyed him into submission
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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