Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
