there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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