Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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