Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Congratulations! We have a period
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
