whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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