Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
