why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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