Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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