Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Randomize
