i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
