He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
