I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
