Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she pinky promised me she was 18
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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