I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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