I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize