THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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