i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
