People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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