What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
