my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize