think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
