I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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