it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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