This is not my ceiling
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
