dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
