new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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