Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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