just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
