Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
