wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
