i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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