I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
