I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
